This week hasn't been easy. Over the past few months, I've figured out my medication, battled a lot of my demons, launched a podcast, grown my personal training business, and have moved forward with my life.
Honestly, I'm proud of it.
But sometimes I still find myself back in that place of darkness learning how to breathe again. Healing isn't the same thing as healed.
I'm a work in progress. The shame, hurt, and embarrassment from my life are still enough to knock me to the floor. I've always described my thought life as me floating in the ocean. When the world speaks lies into my mind I can get lost. I find myself out at sea being tossed and turned not knowing which way is up. I cant see what's real and what's fake. I can't find truth in the waves of lies. I'm drowning.
I'm looking for something to anchor to.
For me, an anchor is something true. It's what holds me in the darkest of moments. I'm not great at finding one, but I'm lightyears ahead of where I was.
I imagine you might be the same. Sometimes every negative thought finds itself waging war in your mind. It can make even the great things seem bleak. Actually, it makes it hard to see anything good at all.
If that's you, then you need an anchor. You need some truth to hold onto so you don't get lost in the lies being spoken over you.
Here are some of mine and some ideas to find your own.
My first anchor is scripture.
Don't roll your eyes lol. I know it's cliche, but it's true. I believe the Bible is God's truth spoken to us and there's a lot of truth I need when lies are surrounding me. One of my go-to verses is Ephesians 1: 4-6. Here's my paraphrase,
"We have been adopted as sons and daughters to Jesus Christ for the pleasure of his will and to the praise of his glorious grace."
I say this and it reminds me that God is pleased to have me in his family. Sometimes I feel like everyone is bothered by my presence, this verse gives a truth to hold on to.
My second anchor consists of phrases I keep about myself.
Here are three of them:
I am worthy.
I am enough
I am gifted.
These phrases directly attack the usual lies that go into my head. When I feel like a waste of space, these phrases help ground me onto something real. When I first started doing this, I felt like an idiot. You probably will too, BUT over time you will be surprised at the power a phrase like this can have on you. There's a reason the Bible says the tongue (our words) has the power of life and death.
What are the normal lies you battle? Find a phrase that speaks against those. Tell someone you trust about the lies you're facing and they can help you come up with phrases.
My third anchor is a gratitude list.
I have been super blessed, but sometimes it seems impossible for me to see. When I find myself dealing with lies of envy, comparison, or jealousy, I pull out my phone and make a list of everything I'm thankful for in my life. I'm embarrassed to say that when I'm really bad, it takes me a few minutes to find something. However, once I get a few things down the flood gates open up and I find my whole attitude changed. I'm anchored to the truth that I am blessed and I have so many reasons to be thankful.
I hope this helps you anchor to something real and true. Lastly, you are not alone. You aren't the only one that deals with this. You aren't broken. There's an enemy looking to steal everything good in you. Don't let him!